Why We Left Paradise: Choosing Our Vision Over Comfort
We lived in Kailua, Hawaii for 23 years and moved away in June of this year. Kailua is truly one of the most beautiful and desirable places in the world to live, and we had a great custom-designed home in the best neighborhood, just a short walk from one of the world’s most beautiful beaches. And we had lots of friends. So when people hear that we moved away from Hawaii, they’re often surprised. Why would anyone leave paradise?
The answer is simple: because our Vision of our ideal life called for something even better.
Our Shared Vision
My wife and I created a shared Vision of how we wanted to live. At the center of it was time spent among our three favorite places: Kailua, Lake Tahoe, and Lake Como. Each of them is unique and fantastic, and together they represent the richness and variety we want in our lives.
Once we had clarity on that Vision, it made more sense for both logistical and financial reasons to make Lake Tahoe our primary residence, with Kailua and Lake Como as seasonal homes.
This wasn’t really a decision to leave paradise as much as a decision to live our Vision.
Why Change is Healthy
When you stay in one place for a long time, it’s easy to take it for granted. We lived in Kailua for 23 years. For the first few years, we treated it like a permanent vacation. We went to the beach every day, hiked, snorkeled, surfed, and explored, just constantly soaking up everything Hawaii had to offer. We would look around in awe at the beauty of the mountains, the ocean, and the tropical environment. But gradually, we slipped into routines. For the last several years, we really only did the special things when visitors came.
This is a classic example of what psychologists call the Hedonic Treadmill. Humans are remarkably good at adapting. The things that once thrilled us become “normal,” and soon we’re looking for the next thing to bring back that feeling of joy and novelty.
With our new arrangement of rotating homes every 2-3 months, we’ve built guaranteed variety into our life. Every time we arrive in Lake Tahoe, Lake Como, or Hawaii, it feels fresh again. We notice the beauty. We make time for the activities and special places we love. We feel like we’re always on vacation.
We’ve Done This Before
This isn’t the first time we’ve made a move like this in pursuit of our Vision. After graduating from Duke, we built a great life in Durham, NC and stayed for about 20 years. We were respected entrepreneurs and we had many friends. Life was very good. But we stepped back and asked ourselves: Is this truly the best place in the whole world for us to live?
That reflection led us to Kailua, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions we ever made. Because as good as Durham had been, life in Kailua was even better.
The Bigger Lesson
The real point isn’t about where you live. It’s about the willingness to take the risk to make major changes to align your life with your Vision. And it’s about giving up what’s good to go after what’s even better.
Most people just accept and stick with their current situation, whether that’s where they live, their profession, their health, or their activities. They adapt, even if it’s not what they truly want. But if you take the time to define your Vision — your clear, detailed picture of the life you most want — you can make bold, intentional choices that move you toward it.
Closing Thought
You only get one life. Don’t settle for “good enough.” Define your Vision, then have the courage to pursue it, even when it means making big changes. That’s where true happiness lies.
If you haven’t yet defined your Vision of your ideal future life, our course, Design Your Ideal Life, is free for a limited time. Take the course, decide on your Vision, and change your life.
