Seeing Your Life from the Outside

The best way to get clarity on how to improve your life is to get an outside perspective. 

As the saying goes, “You can’t read the label from inside the bottle.” We live inside our habits, routines, and stories every day, so it is incredibly easy to miss (or ignore) the obvious. What feels confusing or complicated from the inside often becomes clear when viewed from the outside.

This is a big reason people hire and benefit from coaches and consultants. But you don’t have to pay a penny to get the same benefits. I’m going to share a few ways you can get this same clarity on your own.

Personally, I’ve made some really big improvements in my own life, personally and professionally, by using these techniques. 

Here are a few simple thought exercises that can give you access to that outside perspective quickly. Pick one, or work through all four. They will likely tell you more about your current life than you may expect.

1. If You Were Hired as Your Own Consultant

Imagine you are an expert consultant.

You walk into the conference room. On the other side of the table is… you. Same habits. Same challenges. Same opportunities. Same relationships. Same health, finances, and career.

But now you are the expert. You have been paid to give honest, straightforward advice. You don’t sugarcoat anything because consultants don’t get paid to protect feelings. They get paid to tell the truth clearly. You don’t accept excuses – you simply give the best advice possible.

If you were hired as a life coach, what would you tell yourself about your health, nutrition, exercise, sleep, relationships, and daily habits? If you were hired as a business strategist, what would you tell yourself about your work, your systems, and how you’re spending your time? If you were hired as a personal finance expert, what guidance would you give? If you were hired as a career counselor, what changes would you recommend?

Write the answers down. You’ll likely see obvious changes that would move your life forward. 

I’ve used this exercise myself many times, both for my personal and business life. Like everyone, when I’m immersed in my daily activities, I can’t see the big picture. But if I imagined that I was a consultant hired to give me business advice, the advice was clear and obvious (and when acted on, made a huge difference). The same thing has been true personally: my bad habits (or failure to establish good habits) became crystal clear when I acted as a life coach for myself. 

2. What Advice Would Your 10-Years-Older Self Give You?

Picture the future you, ten years from now. They have lived the consequences of your choices and your current life. They know exactly what mattered and what did not. They know what you should have done more of and what you should have done less of.

If that older version of you could visit for two minutes and give you advice, what would they say?

Most people feel the answer immediately. It is usually some version of: take your health seriously, strengthen your important relationships, protect your time, build a life that excites you, and avoid drifting.

3. What Advice Would You Give Your Best Friend if They Were Living Your Exact Life?

Picture your best friend.

Now imagine they are living your life exactly, with your circumstances, your responsibilities, your opportunities, your habits, and your challenges.

They come to you for advice.

What would you tell them? You would be direct and honest, but supportive. And you would not let them off the hook.

You probably already know the advice you would give. The question is whether you are willing to give yourself that same honest advice.

Pick One Exercise; Pick One Change

Pick whichever feels right to you, get out a piece of paper, and start writing. 

The value of these exercises comes from writing the answers down, then choosing one change that matters.

A single meaningful improvement, applied daily, is more powerful than a dozen insights you never act on. You can then use the Happiful tools to put the change in motion: the Happiful Planner, Daily Planning, the Ideal Day Checklist, or your next Weekly Planning session.

The outside perspective shows you the truth. Having a system turns it into progress.